11th October is National Coming Out Day, a day to celebrate and support the entire LGBTQIA+ community to live openly as their true, authentic selves. It is therefore an appropriate day to show our support for those currently navigating coming out as trans by sharing some tips from those who have been down that path already.
Coming out as trans is a deeply personal milestone and it can bring up a range of emotions, from nervousness and fear to relief and pride. Everyone is different, so the following is intended to be a loose guide. The important thing to remember is that you should never be made to feel pressured to come out. Do it in your own time and in a way that you’re most comfortable with.
5 tips to help when you’re ready to come out as trans
- One at a time: You don’t need to come out to everyone all at once. You can start by telling just one person that you trust. Having their support can give you the confidence to take the next step.
- In-person or from a safe distance: Choose a method of communication that you’re comfortable with. Maybe you’d prefer an in-person chat or a phone call, or perhaps a written letter so you have a chance to properly consider your wording.
- Make it clear: Think carefully about your wording, make sure it is clear so as to avoid any confusion. Explain your pronouns and your new name, if you choose to take one.
- Give them time: For some people, your news may take them by surprise. Give them time to process the information and ask questions if they need to.
- Get support: Have support lined up or plan some self-care for after any conversations you think may be difficult. There are many organisations that provide help and support for trans people, including:
- Mindline Trans+: This is a confidential emotional, mental health support helpline and signposting service for people who identify as trans, agender, gender fluid and / or non-binary.
- Trans Unite: This is an online resource and directory of local and online support groups for trans and non-binary people in the UK.
- Gender Identity Research & Education Society (GIRES): This is a UK wide organisation which aims to improve the lives of trans and gender diverse people of all ages, including those who are non-binary and non-gender.
- TransActual: This helpful website shares facts about trans rights, UK law, healthcare and transphobia.
- LGBT+ Helpline Scotland: This helpline provides emotional support and information to the entire diversity of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community across Scotland. This includes queer, intersex, asexual people and all identities under the LGBTQIA+ umbrella.
- Scottish Trans: This is the Equality Network project to improve gender identity and gender reassignment equality, rights and inclusion in Scotland.
- LGBT Health and Wellbeing: This charity works to improve the physical, social, and mental health and wellbeing of LGBTQ+ adults (16+) in Scotland.
If someone you know is coming out as trans
If you’re reading this because someone you know has taken the brave step to come out as trans, here are a few ways you can support them:
- Be sensitive: They have just shared something deeply personal and may be feeling vulnerable. Be sensitive to their needs during this time.
- Make an effort: It may take a little time to get used to calling them by a different name or using different pronouns, and you may make mistakes, but show them that you are making an effort.
- Be respectful: Don’t ask invasive or inappropriate questions. Instead, educate yourself on the issues that affect trans people.
- Be an ally: Give them your full support and challenge any stigma, prejudice or discrimination if it arises.
Speak to the gender experts
If you have questions about your gender or would like to discuss coming out as trans, you can talk to a specialist in full confidence at Waterside Clinic. Call our friendly team on 0131 202 5314 or email us at hello@waterside.clinic. We’re here to provide help and support, whatever the next step on your journey you decide to take.